I LOVE SUGAR!!
EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS ‘WHERE I SEE MYSELF’ IN FIVE YEARS

cdn-bigfoot:

dukeofbookingham:

I’m just like:

image

I 100% will use this at my next employee review!

jumpyhyliannetop:

heathyr:

andrenator:

Classroom alignments.

And I’ve experienced every single one of these.

I’ve BEEN every one of these

jumpyhyliannetop:

heathyr:

andrenator:

Classroom alignments.

And I’ve experienced every single one of these.

I’ve BEEN every one of these

Happy Tuesday, Everybody

attackofthekillermexisaurusrex:

image

Anybody else excited for tonight?

frenchinhalechanelxoxo:

yess my whole life yo

frenchinhalechanelxoxo:

yess my whole life yo

rainbow-femme:

I’m sick of magical worlds with no technology. I want fairy run coffee shops where you can get a latte with a shot of charisma, because you’ve got a big presentation you’re worried about, or witches working at Apple selling phones that automatically appear in your pocket if you accidentally leave it somewhere, or psychics running hair salons who always know how you want your hair to look, or aura reader therapists. I just really want normalized magic in modern society

mrmeriwether:

yeahbanero-bells:

wolvensnothere:

Whoa.

I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just went “ohhhhhhhhh” 

CEOs all runnin around terrified of blue shells from the homeless

mrmeriwether:

yeahbanero-bells:

wolvensnothere:

Whoa.

I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just went “ohhhhhhhhh” 

CEOs all runnin around terrified of blue shells from the homeless

(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

beware-the-leopard:

thedeandobbs:

And so the world fell to it’s knees.

I love this post.

Just discovered that you're black. Gross. Unfollowed.
Anonymous

the-goddamazon:

yung-medusa:

Literally the best use for this GIF.